That's an amazing thing to stumble across. I am a visual artist and I made a zine a few years back called brokenshoelaceworld about my mental health journey. My origins of the phrase are different from yours, but it is really cool to hear someone else use it and that it is helping you out so much. I hope you're doing well!
Perfect timing for this read. I'm setting off on a long drive tomorrow that makes me very anxious and I've been trying to prepare all night for this trip, making sure absolutely everything is ready, to make me feel like I have some control. An important reminder. I am letting go and maybe I will actually get some sleep.
I find as I grow older I am having less shoelace moments and more just acceptance and laughing while thinking "you have got to be fucking kidding me", then again I have never cooked for more then 6 people...
We live and die by/with our illusions. That we have "control" over anything is one of the biggest.
How did this happen?
I suspect it is rooted in fear, of injury, insult,loss, death, because it seems to me the entire edifice of culture is built around or through the effort to control.
It is literally existential, and we cling ever so tightly to the minutia of control that we imagine to have that when we see that slipping out of our hands .... freak out!
Deeply spiritual/religious people, take a bow. Y'all know Gods in charge. You're not
Yes, it's when that control we imagine we have slips out of our hands that we freak out. When I'm in a good place, I remember to unclench my hands and let go of the results.
The broken shoelace reminds me of a concept from Daniel Gilbert’s research on happiness. He found that our brains protect us from very bad experiences, but that protective mechanism (which he calls our psychological immune system) doesn’t kick in when we experience small annoyances. So, we are able to deal with a spouse cheating on us but might threaten divorce because our spouse leaves dirty dishes in the sink for the 20,000th time! Thanks for another great read (and reminder!). Maybe next year I won’t freak out just before dinner is served!
That's an amazing thing to stumble across. I am a visual artist and I made a zine a few years back called brokenshoelaceworld about my mental health journey. My origins of the phrase are different from yours, but it is really cool to hear someone else use it and that it is helping you out so much. I hope you're doing well!
I'm an anxious traveler as well and understand the lure of over-preparedness! I hope you got some sleep and have a great trip.
Perfect timing for this read. I'm setting off on a long drive tomorrow that makes me very anxious and I've been trying to prepare all night for this trip, making sure absolutely everything is ready, to make me feel like I have some control. An important reminder. I am letting go and maybe I will actually get some sleep.
I can just see Diana Ross singing “Stop in the name of love.”
I find as I grow older I am having less shoelace moments and more just acceptance and laughing while thinking "you have got to be fucking kidding me", then again I have never cooked for more then 6 people...
Yes, me too! Age and experience definitely helps with acceptance.
We live and die by/with our illusions. That we have "control" over anything is one of the biggest.
How did this happen?
I suspect it is rooted in fear, of injury, insult,loss, death, because it seems to me the entire edifice of culture is built around or through the effort to control.
It is literally existential, and we cling ever so tightly to the minutia of control that we imagine to have that when we see that slipping out of our hands .... freak out!
Deeply spiritual/religious people, take a bow. Y'all know Gods in charge. You're not
Yes, it's when that control we imagine we have slips out of our hands that we freak out. When I'm in a good place, I remember to unclench my hands and let go of the results.
The broken shoelace reminds me of a concept from Daniel Gilbert’s research on happiness. He found that our brains protect us from very bad experiences, but that protective mechanism (which he calls our psychological immune system) doesn’t kick in when we experience small annoyances. So, we are able to deal with a spouse cheating on us but might threaten divorce because our spouse leaves dirty dishes in the sink for the 20,000th time! Thanks for another great read (and reminder!). Maybe next year I won’t freak out just before dinner is served!
Oh wow, that's so interesting and makes sense. Those moments right before dinner is served are the most stressful!