Recovery on the Screen

My not-so exhaustive list of movies and TV shows about alcoholism and recovery.

If you read My Podium Story, then you know that I attempted to stop drinking in December 2010 but didn’t “stay stopped” until January 8, 2011. I was going to an alcoholic counselor and attending one recovery meeting a week. While in that meeting for one hour a week, I felt better, like a weight had been lifted. But for the rest of the time, I was MIS-RE-ABLE! My marriage was in shambles, and I didn’t know how I was going to get through life without the relief of a drink. 

When I drank, the vodka coated my insides like a thick coat of paint, smoothing out the cracks and crevices. Living life without that protection, exposing those cracks and crevices to the world, was painful. I managed to white-knuckle¹ it, as they say, through Christmas and New Year’s Eve. (I will forever be grateful for our friends Kelly and Scott, who came to our house on that awful New Year’s Eve and hung out with me and my husband Chris despite the high tensions. That’s true friendship.)

But then the holiday break ended. Chris returned to work, and my three kids returned to school, and I picked up a drink. 

If you are or have been a stay-at-home mom of littles, you know about that glorious day when they return to school. You collapse in relief that you’ve made it through the school break, often doing nothing but sitting on the couch, staring at the wall, and letting yourself breathe. As I sat there on the couch that day, attempting to stay away from the vodka bottle that was hidden in the back of our liquor cabinet, I remembered a movie about a mom alcoholic, “When a Man Loves a Woman.” 

In this 1994 romantic drama, Alice Green, played by Meg Ryan, struggles with her alcoholism, finally getting help. As her recovery gets stronger, her marriage falls apart. While sitting on the couch the day everyone returned to school and work, the thought occurred to me, “Maybe this movie will help me figure out this alcohol problem.” And I rented it on whatever service we had at that time. (The way we watch TV keeps changing, so I can’t remember if it was Prime or through Verizon On Demand or Redbox. Remember Redbox?) 

I settled in on the couch and watched Meg Ryan’s drinking escalate. At one point, her husband, played by Andy Garcia, says, “Wringing you out at the end of an evening is not as much fun as it used to be.” When Meg Ryan takes a swig out of the vodka bottle while in her pajamas, I paused the movie, entered the kitchen, and poured myself a vodka cranberry. I then proceeded to get drunk while watching the rest of the film.

If you’re perplexed by this odd behavior, well, join the club. Wouldn’t seeing the mom slap her young daughter in a drunken rage be enough to make me NOT want to pick up a drink? You’d think… But alcoholism is “cunning, baffling, and powerful.” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 58-59.)  Often, that is why we cannot quit on our own. After drinking for two more days, I returned to the meeting and became willing to take the suggestions offered by the sober women: go to more meetings, get a home group, and find a sponsor.

The other day, a writer friend, knowing I was in recovery, asked what I thought about the show “Loudermilk.” I had just started watching it at the suggestion of my brother-in-law. 

The main character, Sam Loudermilk, is the leader of a Sober Friends recovery meeting. I had to google “Sober Friends” to learn that it was a real thing and not something the show made up. There are some similarities to the meetings I attend. The eclectic group of people, the feelings they share, and the triggers they face. But some things are very different. There is way too much crosstalk². We do have leaders of meetings, but those leaders rotate, so no one “owns” the meeting, as Loudermilk seems to. And the show exaggerates things for comedic effect. One of the characters, Cutter, pepper sprays his sponsee and handcuffs him to get him to stop drinking. Obviously, this would never happen. If I don’t call my sponsor, she doesn’t call me. She’s not going to track me down at my workplace! The show is funny, and I’m enjoying it. And even though it’s not depicting a recovery program I’m familiar with, I’m glad popular culture portrays stories of people struggling with alcoholism. It can only help raise awareness. But as I illustrate in my “When A Man Loves A Woman” story, a show or movie cannot get someone sober until they are ready to. 

The question “What do you think about the show,” got me thinking about other TV shows and movies that depict recovery. And since someone asked, I’ll share a couple of thoughts below. 

My all-time favorite show about recovery is “Mom,” a CBS sitcom that aired from 2013 to 2021. 

“Mom” follows Christy Plunkett (Anna Faris), a single mother who, after battling alcoholism and drug abuse, decides to restart her life in Napa, California, working as a waitress and attending Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings. Her mother, Bonnie Plunkett (Allison Janney), is also a recovering addict.

Side note: Will Sasso, who plays Loudermilk’s sponsor, also had a part in the show “Mom.” Is that a coincidence? 

I will watch anything with Allison Janney. That being said, I felt the show was perfect. The exact right mix of comedy and drama wrapped up in 30 minutes. And its depiction of the meetings, the sponsors, and the recovery mirrored my own experience. The show is mainly about women, and the circle of women in that show was very similar to my circle of women. The women, who in my story above didn’t blink an eye when I relapsed, but just kept calling and giving me suggestions.

Watching “Mom,” which I often did with my young daughter Julia, made me feel seen and connected. I wasn’t weird or different because I participated in a recovery program because, look, there on the screen are other people just like me. I was so sad when that show went off the air. I could have watched it for years.

A movie that I felt did an excellent job of depicting how alcoholism is “cunning, baffling, and powerful” was “Flight.” 

In “Flight,” airline pilot Captain Whip Whitaker, played by Denzel Washington, battles alcoholism and drug addiction while facing the consequences of his in-flight intoxication during a crash landing. 

Two things about that movie stand out to me. One was the insanity of alcoholism. Warning: Spoilers ahead. All Whitaker had to do was NOT drink before his trial, and he’d get away with it. He wouldn’t have any consequences for his drinking. His union reps are smart enough to remove the alcohol from his hotel room. But the door to the adjacent room is unlocked, and Whitaker raids the minibar from that room. The reps find him totally shit-faced on the day of the trial. 

Our literature says, “(The alcoholic) has a positive genius for getting tight at exactly the wrong moment, particularly when some important decision must be made or engagement kept.” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 21) Although my stakes were never that high, I can relate to getting drunk at the exact wrong time. I’d get drunk before dropping my kids off at a playdate or taking a child to the pediatrician, even though I only had to wait an hour or two until we were home for the evening.

Then, in the trial scene of the movie, when Whitaker is about to get away with it, get away with being drunk while flying a plane, he has a moment, there is a crack in the universe, when he allows the truth to come out, even if it means putting himself in jail. That moment of honesty was surely the result of his Higher Power. I had a very similar moment when I could have kept my alcoholism a secret. I’d been doing it for years, but instead, I revealed to Chris how much I had been drinking. 

This might be a controversial opinion, but if you want to see what active alcoholism looks like, watch Anthony Bourdain’s “Parts Unknown.” In this CNN series that ran from 2013 to 2018, Bourdain travels the world, uncovering lesser-known places and exploring their cultures and cuisine. Basically, he drinks his way around the world.

I’m grateful that I didn’t watch the show before his tragic suicide. If I had seen him living what seemed like his best life, traveling the world, and drinking his face off, I might have been jealous. I might have said, “How come he gets to drink like that and get paid? Why is he not having any consequences for his drinking?” Bourdain was open about his recovery from drug addiction but still continued to drink. And, according to this drunk, he was an alcoholic, and his alcoholism was on full display during each episode of that show. It makes me angry that the show producers and the cameramen just continued to let him get drunk over and over again and rewarded him for it. Obviously, it didn’t end well.

There are many more TV shows and movies about alcoholism and recovery. I can think of three off the top of my head: “Clean and Sober,” “28 Days,” and “Leaving Las Vegas.” (I hated “Leaving Las Vegas.” Too disturbing.)

I’d love to hear some of your thoughts. Is there a show or a movie that you felt got recovery right? Or one that got it horribly wrong?    

1. White knuckling is a term used in recovery to describe abstinence without the help of the tools of a recovery program. It’s not fun. 

2. Crosstalk is engaging directly in conversation with another alcoholic during the meeting or providing commentary or feedback on what another has shared. It’s a no-no in the meetings I attend.