Let's Talk about Pot - A Two Part Discussion
Part I: Sarah's Story - How smoking weed works for her lifestyle.
A while ago, my young adult son asked me, "Do you smoke pot, Mom?"
"NO!" I emphatically responded, shocked that he even had to ask. Hadn't he attended my AA celebration meetings year after year? Didn't he know that I've been sober for 14 years? I thought I had talked to each kid about my disease of alcoholism and my recovery journey.
I guess it's understandable that maybe he didn't know precisely what "sober" meant. Plus, there is something called "California Sober," which means abstaining from alcohol while smoking pot. One of the characters in the recent Netflix romantic comedy, "Nobody Wants This," casually mentions he is California Sober.
Being sober in AA means not indulging in ANY mind-altering substance (well, besides coffee or chocolate), so smoking pot is a no-no. And people who do are said to be on the "Marijuana Maintenance Program."
Marijuana, pot, weed, Mary Jane (god, I'm a dork) has never been my "thing." Anytime I smoked pot, I only wanted to feel drunk. When I was high, I was hungry and anxious, two things I used alcohol to combat. So when I entered the rooms of AA and committed to my sobriety one day at a time, it wasn't difficult for me to never smoke pot again. I didn't crave it like I did vodka.
While AA's approach of total sobriety has saved countless lives, including my own, I've learned through years of recovery that healing takes many forms. I don’t want to be so rigid in my beliefs that I can’t accept that another path away from addiction might work for someone else.
This Dry January, when many people are taking a break from alcohol, my social media feeds are flooded with advertisements for pot gummies. It seems the marijuana industry is positioning itself as an alternative for those looking to cut back on drinking. With this increasing normalization of marijuana use, I thought we could explore two different perspectives on this topic.
Today, I'm sharing an interview with Sarah1, who chose to quit alcohol while continuing to use marijuana. Next week, I'll post a conversation with Dave Bushnell, who founded Leaves, a community dedicated to helping people quit cannabis use.
Their stories remind me that recovery isn't one-size-fits-all.
Interview #1: Sarah's Story - How smoking weed works for her lifestyle.
LIZ: Welcome Sarah to my Substack! Thank you for agreeing to talk to me today about your choice to smoke pot but not drink. Let’s start with the not drinking part. When did you quit, and what led you to make that decision?
SARAH: Thanks for inviting me! I love following your journey, Liz.
I quit drinking in June of 2021, but my reasons were more for my health than anything else. My last alcoholic drink was one White Claw. Just one. And I still got sick the next day. My stomach couldn’t tolerate it anymore. I have a GI issue that, at the time, had gone untreated far too long, and I needed a complete detox. And once I stopped drinking, I just couldn’t find a good reason to go back. So I haven’t.
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LIZ: Did you find it difficult to put down the drink? Are you ever tempted to drink again?
SARAH: I decided to quit drinking one month before my best friend’s bachelorette party. That was probably the biggest obstacle I have faced in this journey. But honestly, it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I still had a great time without drinking, and I was one of the only ones who felt good the next morning. And that’s the greatest thing about it, for me. I was so used to having to plan a day of rest after any time I wanted to drink, but now I don’t have to do that anymore.
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LIZ: Can you walk me through how you came to the decision to continue using marijuana while quitting alcohol? Was it a conscious choice from the start, or did it evolve over time?
SARAH: I thought it would be cruel (and honestly, impossible) for me to give up all of my vices at once. I was also a cigarette smoker at the time. When I decided to quit drinking, I definitely leaned into smoking. One thing at a time, that was my motto. Though I’m not sure I ever want to eliminate weed completely. I have found its effects to be more beneficial than detrimental, personally. With my GI issue, for example, it’s one of the only ways to calm my gut, to stir hunger when I really should eat. It can motivate me. It can help me sleep. I knew I needed to eliminate alcohol for my health. And cigarettes, which came later. But I also kind of know that I need to keep weed for the same reason.
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LIZ: When and how do you partake in your drug of choice? For example, do you prefer edibles? Smoking a joint? Different types at different times?
SARAH: That depends. Typically, at home, I prefer to smoke a blunt. Basically, it’s just a fatter joint, rolled with two leaves from a Dutch Master cigar. I like how it burns slower than a joint and lasts longer. I also prefer the taste, probably because I used to smoke cigarettes. But if I’m out at say, a music festival or some kind of public event of the sort, then I prefer a pen (Penjamin, as we call him) as they are more discrete. Edibles typically make me fall asleep, so I reserve them for long plane rides and such.
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LIZ: How do you navigate social situations where both alcohol and marijuana are present? Has anyone challenged your choice to use one but not the other?
SARAH: Most of my friends are alcohol drinkers. Few of my friends are weed smokers. And I thought this might be an issue, but honestly, it really hasn’t. I have such a great system—they don’t care what I’m doing as long as I do it with them. I mean, within reason, of course. But I bring my weed, and they bring their drinks. And sometimes we even play drinking games where I take a toke instead of doing a shot, for example. We adjust accordingly, and it works.
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LIZ: How do you explain your choices to family members or friends who might not understand the distinction you're making between alcohol and marijuana?
SARAH: To be quite honest, I haven’t been challenged very much at all. Because of my health issue, everyone has been pretty supportive of my decision not to drink. And though sometimes there’s a raised eyebrow or a question or two about my weed intake, when I explain, or they see firsthand how it helps, there’s no more questioning anything. Plus, the legalization of it has definitely aided in breaking the stigma around it.
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LIZ: What would you say to someone who's questioning their relationship with alcohol and considering a similar path to yours?
SARAH: Every person is different. If this feels like the right path for you, right on. But some people have a bad time with weed, too. It’s not for everyone. I would say to experiment—start small and see what you like best. Don’t jump in with a blunt. Take a bite of an edible. One drag of a joint. Give it some time and see how it feels for you before going in for another. Maybe weed will help you, like it does for me. But maybe it won’t. Find what works for you and follow your own path!
Well, thank you so much, Sarah, for being so open and honest about your choices. I’m glad you found a solution that works for you.
Sarah's story shows that the path to wellness isn't always straight or simple. She has found a sustainable balance that works for her health and lifestyle.
Stay tuned for next week’s interview with Dave Bushnell for a discussion on the potential for cannabis dependency and the importance of having support systems for those who want to quit.
Name has been changed to protect privacy.