Good News: The Jesuits Know What We Should Do Next
How College Tours Pulled Me Out of My Post-Election Funk
I don't know about you all, but I spent Wednesday, November 6, in a numb state of shock. I couldn't listen to the pundits play the blame game, so I turned off the news. When friends or family wanted to talk about the election results, I just shut down. I chose "flight" in the trauma response of "fight or flight." I didn't want to go anywhere where I'd see people. I knew that either I'd look into someone's eyes and we'd both start crying, or I'd look at someone and feel hatred, biting my tongue so I wouldn't say, "Did YOU vote for him, you f*ckwad?" I knew neither response was helpful. So I avoided people and repeated the Serenity Prayer in my head to get through Wednesday.
Thursday, however, I had appointments to keep. My daughter Julia, a high school junior, was signed up for a 1 p.m. tour of the College of the Holy Cross in Worcester, MA. It was our first stop on a two-night, three-day, five-college road trip. We packed our toothbrushes and our Jersey Mike's subs for lunch and hit the road. My "flight" response was put on hold as I would be forced to engage with people.
First off, let me say, if you feel that the world is doomed, one easy way to instill hope is to be led around a beautiful college campus by a well-spoken, well-mannered, over-achieving college junior or senior. These students who work in the admission office are beyond impressive. Hope pulsates off of them as they tell you about their study abroad experience, their internship at the lab, or how Lou the Dining Hall Worker saves them chocolate pudding every night. A college tour is a surefire way to feel inspired and optimistic.
As it happened, both the College of the Holy Cross and Boston College, the next stop on our itinerary, are private, liberal arts Jesuit colleges. (And yes, I made a college visit itinerary; of course, I did! ) If you haven't had the pleasure of visiting one of these colleges yourself, let me tell you the Jesuits can "do" college. These campuses are B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L: majestic stone buildings covered in ivy and Virginia creeper, gorgeous libraries with stained glass windows, and elegant chapels with soaring spires. The Jesuits are also behind such classic campuses like Fordham and Georgetown. (My father's alma maters!)
Who are these Jesuits? They're a Catholic religious order of priests and brothers, also known as the Society of Jesus.
I know, I know, Catholicism. Religion. Are you gritting your teeth? Before you close down Substack, let me tell you how I handle it.
My husband Chris and I would describe ourselves as "recovering Catholics" or "culturally Catholic," meaning we don't go to church, but we still put out a Nativity scene on the mantle every Christmas. We were raised Catholic, attended church every Sunday, suffered through years of CCD (me) or Catholic School (Chris), and it was normal to have a priest at our family's dinner table. Now, though, we've renounced the Catholic faith in which we were raised. One of the main reasons is their response to the pedophile scandal. And I don't want to speak for Chris, but I don't believe in the main tenets of Catholicism, specifically the incarnation of Jesus Christ. Plus, I'm pro-choice, which the Catholic Church is most definitely not. So, although I enjoy the mass rituals, especially the songs ("Eagles Wings" is a banger!), I can no longer support the Catholic Church. But let's not throw out the baby with the holy water. Some of Catholicism's teachings align with my moral values, including the very basic "love thy neighbor as thyself."
Have I got all the disclaimers in? Ok, back to the college visits.
What struck me most during our college visits were the messages from the information sessions and tours at both Jesuit colleges. The mission of these institutions, which is the core of the Jesuit mission, is education, ministry, and outreach to marginalized people. While my post-election trauma had me wanting to retreat from the world, the Jesuits were suggesting the opposite: engage, connect, serve.
The Jesuit approach offers three clear paths forward:
Education: Jesuit education challenges students to be curious, ask questions, and solve problems. So what can I do? Instead of just reading media outlets that align with my political viewpoints, I vowed to learn more about issues from both liberal and conservative perspectives. I signed up for the newsletter Tangle, which promises to do just that.
Service: During our tour at Holy Cross, our guide talked about her experience with the Student Programs for Urban Development (SPUD). She spent her weekends tutoring kids in Worcester's underserved communities. This resonated with me because my recovery program also embraces service. "Service, service, service!" I could hear my sponsor's voice in my head. "Service is the answer."
Engagement & Dialogue: The Jesuit approach isn't about shutting down or shutting out—it's about opening up. Opening our minds through education. Opening our hearts through service. Opening our communities through diversity and inclusion. This means not turning away from people with different viewpoints but trying to understand why they feel the way they do. Looking them in the eye and hearing what they have to say.
On our drive home from Beantown, I made a decision to embrace the Jesuits' mission as my own to get through this tumultuous time in our history.
Less certainty, more curiosity.
Less division, more dialogue.
Less retreat, more engagement.
As I pulled into our driveway, exhausted from three days of campus tours but somehow lighter in spirit, I remembered the prayer that had gotten me through that difficult Wednesday:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."
While I can't change the election results, I can change how I respond to them. And right now, that feels like enough.
Disclaimer: To err is human. Please excuse any typos or grammatical errors. I employ Grammarly, but mistakes happen. In this world of AI, they're my way of keeping things delightfully human.
A great essay. A wise, serene, and open minded attitude is what’s needed—I want to say ‘at this moment’, but, really, is there ever a time when this would be a wrong approach?
Always glad to hear folks inspired by the Jesuit mission! Always more to it. I hope your child is starting at BC or Holy Cross this coming fall!