The other day, while reviewing my sent emails to stay on top of my To-Dos, I stumbled upon a response I'd written:
Oh my god! For a moment, I panicked. Who did I say that to? And why? Then I read the full email (see below) and remembered.
It was just my response to a spam email, asking me if I wanted “whiskey or wine” as a reward for sitting through a sales pitch. I must have been in some kind of a mood when I responded like that, but really—offering me alcohol for a work meeting? It seemed so strange.
This incident got me thinking about our society's relationship with alcohol and how we often use it as a default gift or reward without considering its implications.
The Sobering Reality
While I try not to demonize alcohol, it's hard to ignore the growing body of evidence highlighting its dangers. Holly Whitaker, in her book Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol puts it bluntly:
"The largest single use of ethanol is as an engine fuel and fuel additive. In other words, we drink, for fun, the same thing we use to make rocket fuel, house paint, antiseptics, solvents, perfumes, and deodorants and to denature, i.e. to take away the natural properties of, or kill, living organisms."
Even more concerning is the well-established link between alcohol and cancer. The World Health Organization's International Agency for Research on Cancer concluded in 1988 that alcohol is carcinogenic to humans. Decades of research have only strengthened this conclusion, particularly for breast, liver, colorectal, and esophageal cancers.
The CDC is unequivocal in its stance:
You can lower your risk for cancer by drinking less alcohol or not drinking at all.
All alcoholic drinks, including red and white wine, beer, and liquor, are linked with cancer.
Ireland has taken a bold step by requiring warning labels on all alcohol products starting in 2026. These labels will state in red capital letters: "THERE IS A DIRECT LINK BETWEEN ALCOHOL AND FATAL CANCERS" and "DRINKING ALCOHOL CAUSES LIVER DISEASE." (“Should Alcoholic Beverages Have Cancer Warning Labels?” The New York Times, April 9 2024)
A Personal Perspective
As someone in recovery from alcoholism, I have a complex relationship with alcohol. My sponsor would say “ Alcohol itself is not the problem—some people can have one or two drinks and leave it alone. YOU cannot. You have a physical allergy to it.”
I understand this perspective. It's similar to how I can smoke one or two cigarettes without wanting to smoke the entire pack. Even when I was a daily smoker in my late teens and early twenties, it was just something I did. Smoking never felt like something I had to do or couldn’t live without. I did not have that “take or leave it” attitude with vodka.
(Look how comfortable I look with that fake cigarette!)
Can you imagine a carton of cigarettes in a gift basket? It seems absurd now, though my husband Chris recalls attending a Jesuit missionary dinner (his uncle was a Jesuit priest) at the Waldorf Astoria and on the table, displayed like a bouquet of flowers, were mini-packs of Marlboro and Marlboro Lights. This was the mid 1980s. Things were wacky then.
The Contradiction in Our Culture
What strikes me as particularly odd is how we've become increasingly health-conscious in many areas of life, yet alcohol remains a staple in our gift-giving and celebration culture.
Take for instance the 10-year celebration for my nonprofit writing organization this past Sunday. My beloved company1 does so many things to be conscious of others’ mental and physical health needs. We offer flex time and encourage mental health days. We are in the process of being certified in trauma-informed practices. We offer vegan and gluten-free food options at our events and order from a restaurant that offers “health-conscious fare” at every in-person meeting. Yet, several of the gift baskets we raffled off as a fundraiser at our 10-year celebration included bottles of wine. There were baskets that didn’t offer wine, of course. But still as a fundraiser we offered a raffle that gave winners a substance that causes cancer. It's a strange contradiction, don’t you think? Can you imagine if those gift baskets had cartons of cigarettes?
A Call for Reflection
Some, like Whitaker, believe that eventually we'll wise up and alcohol will go the way of cigarettes, with society realizing its harmful effects and cutting ties with it. I don’t know. It seems unlikely.
I'm not here to judge anyone for enjoying their beer or glass of wine. I'm sure coffee isn't great for you either and I guzzle it by the gallons. How bad it is? I’ll never know because I refuse to Google it. And I will turn a blind eye to any news report that tells me otherwise.
But I’m pretty sure coffee was never involved in a domestic abuse situation, or contributed to a date rape, or caused a deadly car accident.
Alcohol killed my brother, could have killed me and my kids, and almost ended my marriage. While not everyone has such extreme experiences with alcohol, its potential for harm is undeniable.
So can we pause for a moment and reflect on the practice of giving alcohol as a gift or reward?
The next time you're considering a bottle of wine as a housewarming gift or a thank-you for sitting through a sales pitch or including it in a raffle basket, maybe think twice. Maybe the gift recipient is a recovering alcoholic and doesn’t want a bottle of wine laying around. Or maybe that person had a family member who died as a result of alcohol. Or maybe let’s just not promote unhealthy substances.
There are so many other thoughtful options that don't carry the same risks or potential for harm. Coffee, for instance. Or maybe not, I don’t know. I refuse to Google it…
Let's start a conversation about how we can celebrate, reward, and show appreciation without defaulting to alcohol.
What do you think? Put your suggestions below!
Disclaimer: To err is human. Please excuse any typos or grammatical errors. I employ Grammarly, but mistakes happen. In this world of AI, they're my way of keeping things delightfully human.
By the way, I gave my employer an advanced copy of this Substack. I didn’t want to blind-side her with a rebuke of the organization. She responded as I knew she would, with kindness and compassion, promising a change in future events.
Thanks for sharing this perspective. While the committee considered not serving meat at the recent event, we only discussed alcohol when considering an open vs cash bar.