Over spring break, I had the privilege of staying at my lovely sister-in-law’s beautiful home in Florida. She is a member of a clubhouse down at the beach, the kind of place where you order your food and drinks with a number. Why do meals and refreshments taste soooo much better when ordered this way? Unfortunately for my sister-in-law, her member number is the same as an important year in history, so it’s very easy to remember!
From the clubhouse around 1 p.m. on Saturday, I had gotten four drinks: two virgin strawberry daiquiris, one for my daughter and one for her friend, an iced coffee for me, and an iced tea for my sister-in-law. As I carried our refreshments back to our spot on the beach, I passed a woman who saw the drinks and said, “Is the bar open?” I took a beat before answering because I wasn’t sure. Yes, they let me order these drinks, but was the bar open? It hadn’t felt officially open for business. And in that pause, the woman said again, louder and with more force, “IS THE BAR OPEN????” Her energy level shot up at the sight of strawberry daiquiris.
I wasn’t the only one ordering drinks at the maybe-closed bar. A mom ahead of me ordered two virgin pina coladas for her kids and a regular daiquiri for herself. When the bartender offered to throw in an extra shot of rum, the woman declined! Declined an extra shot of rum. Who does that? Not alcoholics. ;-)
But back to the IS THE BAR OPEN woman, I mean, I get why she was super-excited when she realized it was time to get day drunk. That was undoubtedly me back in my drinking days. I wasn’t a daiquiri fan, although I wouldn’t turn one away if it were handed to me. But a frozen margarita with some chips and salsa to kick off the summer season? Ooof, Jimmy knew what he was talking about when he wrote, “wasting away again in Margaritaville.” (RIP Jimmy Buffet.)
What is it about the warming weather that makes us want to sip fruity alcoholic drinks in tall glasses with crushed ice and umbrellas? Getting buzzed on a mojito or a bay breeze while getting sunburnt by the pool? I don’t know, but I know it is a thing.
The other day, in a recovery meeting, a sober mentor shared how she does not take the changing of the seasons lightly. As the sun comes out and melts the snow and the bars fling open their windows, we alcoholics get a little twitchy. And just like any other time when we might be triggered to drink, we need to double down on our recovery—attend more meetings, make more phone calls, help more people, all the things we did when we first got sober.
But are we triggered just when the sun is out? I’m afraid not. Really, it’s any change of season.
One time, in a meeting sometime in November, a newcomer lamented that she missed enjoying a seasonal cocktail with the arrival of the cold weather. It seemed every TV commercial showed couples laughing over a gingerbread martini or sipping hot toddies by the fire. I could relate.
In October 2006, for my middle son’s first birthday, we hosted his party at Caumsett State Park in Lloyd Neck, NY. I planned autumnal games for the kids, such as bobbing for donuts, and served spiked apple cider for the adults. In a kid’s wagon, I lugged hot cider in a thermos and a bottle of rum to the Big Tree, a special spot in the park about a ½ mile walk from the parking lot.
I was not the only one who enjoyed that cider, but I remember getting too tipsy for a one-year-old’s birthday party. Even though my program tells me, “We do not regret the past,” remembering that I insisted on having spiked cider at my son’s first birthday party makes me cringe.
Does all this mean that when the weather changes, we alcoholics must hide until the seasons have officially transitioned? Like some reverse Punxsutawney Phil situation. We hide in our holes until YOU tell us whether it’s spring or winter and it’s safe to come out.
No, we can still enjoy the changing of seasons. We just have to switch our focus.
For example, do you know about Mallomar season? Yes, I’m talking about those chocolate-covered marshmallow treats. And yes, they have a season when they are available in supermarkets, September through March. (Oh no, it’s over!) Similarly, there’s a Girl Scout Cookie season, which is happening right now. Keep those Thin Mints in the freezer! They are delicious cold.
Every spring, my family gets ice cream when the first daffodil blooms in the yard. My mother started this tradition, and I try to keep it with my kids.
And even though I’m sober, I can still have a favorite start-of-summer drink: frappé coffee. I’m not talking about Starbucks’s Frappuccino. I’m talking about a frappé (pronounced frap-pay) made with Nescafé, water, sugar, and ice, a delicious frosty pick-me-up introduced to me by my Greek uncle and cousins. (Click here for a recipe.)
So, IS the bar open, like that lady asked? No, not for me. But is the café open with some delightful iced coffee drinks? Yes, yes, it is.
So, Happy Spring, readers! Please share your favorite non-drinking seasonal traditions in the comments.
The longing for seasonal cocktails struggle is REALS. Especially something icy on a beach vacay. But a virgin colada does the trick and unlike when I was drinking and my unquenchable thirst meant it needed to be followed by multiple cocktails (and all their inherent calories and $$), now one cold treat is all I need. Also, I was introduced to the frappe on a trip to Greece and never thought about recreating it. Thanks for the recipe!